Intrusive Dreams

Well, with yet another sleepless night I find myself with nothing left to do but write. No matter how hard I try, I just can't sleep peacefully. Why am I constantly held hostage by this tragedy that is war? Enough of that. Here is the product of my sleepless night....

The Day You Left

Out on the flight line always loud but now eerily quiet.
I hear the distinct noise of a HMMWV driving up, the parking lights piercing the darkness.
Here comes another one.
Waiting for the plane to land.
Watching and waiting.
Here comes the ticket out of here.
Loud roar of the engines quickly silenced as they come to a halt.
The ramp opens...there's another one.
They come from near and far slowly making their way home.
I walk over to the HMMWV and tell them they are ready.
Pitch black is the desert sky lit up with a million stars dancing.
How can something so beautiful be in such a place?
Everyone takes their places. Silence.
2 by 2 we stand.
Slowly trudging to the plane holding in our hands one that breathes no more.
Gently placed with tender care and great respect, we let go of another one.
Silence.
The red lights of the cabin give an eerie glow to the flag draped case.
A salute.
A final farewell as you leave that battlefield that took your life.
You are one step closer to those that love you.
The engines begin to turn.
The ramp closes.
The silence is broken by the whirling wind from the propellers.
For a moment time stopped.
I walk back to take my place.
Darkness.Chaos.
I stand in front of the plane and guide it on its way.
With the send off they are gone.
Another one on their way home.
Why?
There is an emptiness that is left behind as the plane takes off.
More tears fall onto the desert ground. One of many, and more to come.
Nothing can compare to being there when an "angel" takes flight.
I will never be the same.
So many killed. So many walks to the plane. So many salutes. So many final farewells. So many lost. So many traumatized. So, so, many things....
God be with them.

Rest in Peace, Marcques.

HM3 Marcques J. Nettles
Killed 2 Apr 2006
Missing for 2 weeks and found on Easter, 16 Apr 2006.

Thank you.

Written by Christie Weber on 5-26-2008
Memorial Day


Marcques was killed on 2 April 2006 when the 7 Ton truck he was riding in rolled over in a flash flood. Marcques and 7 others drowned that day.

Finally on the mend!!!

Well, I had another follow up with my surgeon, and he seems to think all is going well. I finally got the fracture boot off and am in an ankle brace now for another 6 weeks. Let me tell you it was so wierd wearing a shoe again after 3 months! Anyway-I will begin physical therapy now and look to get out in August if I get a good report in my middle of July follow up.

Memorial Day...a day of thanks

Happy Memorial Day just doesn't seem like the right thing to say. It is an oxymoron of sorts. Instead, I would like to wish you a peaceful, thankful, and memorable Memorial Day. Memorial day just like Veteran's Day and the 4th of July have always been near and dear to my heart, especially having been in the military. It seems with each passing year, more deaths, and more heartache have caused me to re-evaluate these days of remembrance. They have new meaning, a fervor unknown to me before I brought 2 of them home.
In 2004, I brought 2 Marines home to their families in a box. They will never see their children or wives again. They knew not what would become of them when they kissed them goodbye. There have been 4000+ killed in the far off sands of the Middle East. There have been so many throughout America's short history that have gone before us fighting for what they believed in. Memorial Day is a day to remember what it has taken for America to be where we are today. It is a day to stop and think, even if only for a moment, of those that have shed their blood, tears, and breathed their last breath on foreign soil. Contrary to popular belief, this is not the kick off of Barbecue season or the opening of peak season at the beach. It is a day of remembrance. It is the least we can do.

David and Shane, thank you for your selfless sacrifice. May your families be at peace.

Semper Fidelis, my brothers!

In Memory of Joseph M. McGrath Jr.

My friend, Joe, lost his battle with cancer after a valiant fight. I don't have words to express how much I will miss him. I love you, Joe, and thank you for being you. My life is so much better having known you. You will be greatly missed by so many. Thank you for all you have given.

Joseph M. McGrath Jr., 59, of Holliston, died Thursday, May 8, 2008 at his home with his family after a lengthy, bravely fought battle with cancer. Born in Boston, he was the son of Joseph McGrath Sr. of Natick and the late Helen (Daly) McGrath of Natick. He was the beloved husband to Diane (Colella) McGrath for 29 years. He was a Vietnam veteran, having served four years in the U.S. Navy. He was also in the Navy reserves for 6 years and had been employed for the past 33 years at the Army Natick Labs. During his career at Natick, his leadership and technical capabilities have been recognized with numerous awards. He was most recently project manager and technical leader of a guided airdrop delivery system that can bring supplies to the soldier on the ground with such precision, that the ground and air personnel are placed in far less vulnerable positions. This program was recently fielded to Afghanistan and Iraq. He was also an avid scuba diver and member and past president of the Metrowest Dive Club. He was the founder of Highland Millwork, one of the largest manufacturers of scuba tank bands. His boundless intelligence and curiosity was admired and served as an inspiration to many. Besides his father and wife, he is survived by his brother, James McGrath and his wife Maureen of Holliston, a sister, Mary Garry and her husband Peter of Upton, a nephew Joseph McGrath and a niece Anne McGrath of Holliston. At his request, there will be no funeral service. Arrangements are from the Chesmore Funeral Home.. www.ChesmoreFuneralHome.com

St. Mary's 150th Anniversary Gala

Greetings everyone on this fifth Sunday of Easter! My church, St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception, had our 150th Anniversary Gala celebration last night. The evening started with cocktails and socializing followed by a wonderful dinner. After eating our anniversary cake, Doc Scantlin and his orchestra serenaded us with their "Big Band" music all night long. It was a wonderful evening as we all came together as one family to celebrate the life of our parish community. This June will mark our 150th anniversary as a parish and the beginning of continued growth as we seek to do the will of God. Blessings to you all during this Easter Season! Let us prepare our hearts as we anxiously await the coming of the Holy Spirit in the coming weeks.

Peace...

Be sure to check out the Gala pictures under Picasa Web Albums!

6 weeks Post-Op 18 April 2008

Hello, everyone! I hope this blog finds you well! Thought I would give you a quick update since I haven't written in a little while. I had a follow-up appointment today with my surgeon...I got my cast off and was excited at the prospect of getting the much needed and long awaited "fracture boot". Everything looked good and the corpsman brought me the boot and slapped it on. The Dr. asked me to walk in it...that was another story. It hurt and was too loose...even inflated. The Dr. started throwing out that 4 letter word again..."Maybe we should just put you back in a cast for another 2 weeks." "Oh-please NO!" was my reply. So after further examination, the fracture boot was too big and he said we could try a smaller size. This meant getting an entirely different fracture boot. I was relieved to see it because it looked much more supportive than the other one I just tried. I put it on...SUCCESS!!!! All was well-I could walk, no pain...I was a happy camper!

Of course I had important questions for the Dr like "can I take it off to take a bath?" His answer was music to my ears!!! So first order of business when I got home today was to soak my leg in the tub...and shave my leg (6 weeks is a long time!!). It's the little things, I suppose! Things are definitely looking up after my long journey thus far.

I still have a long way to go...6 more weeks in this fracture boot, 4-6 weeks in an ankle brace-but if all goes well, I will be able to separate from the Marine Corps in July/August. I will keep you all posted. Thanks for the well wishes and thoughfulness!

Check out the new pics!

Peace,

Christie

In honor of the fallen and the ones they left behind

Update on the ankle

Well, it has been a few days since I have written...I went to the Dr. on Tuesday 1 April, and they took an x-ray and put on yet another cast. This makes 6 in less than a month! I now have an american flag cast. Not sure why I have been having so much pain, but they decided to give me an extension on my convalescent leave because I have gone back to non-weight bearing and can not get around very good. I was supposed to return to work today, but now it won't be until 22 April. I am so bored!! I can't drive my car because it is a stick shift so I have been stuck at home at the mercy of others to cart me around or switch cars. It has not been easy to say the least. The people in my church choir have been wonderful though-all of them concerned with my well being and progress. I am very blessed to have them!
Well, not much else to say at the moment. The Pope will be here soon, but unfortunately, I wasn't able to get tickets to see him, not to mention that I am on crutches which would prove nearly imposible to maneuver in the crowd. Oh well.
Until next time, may the peace of Christ be with you always...

Please help Ana Rendich!

I need your help in spreading the word about Ana Rendich in the hopes of finding her a kidney donor. Please see the letter from her husband, Glenn. Thanks for your help!


Please help us rescue Ana

This letter is about Ana Rendich, my wife and mother of three. I am sending it because Ana has end stage kidney disease. Our doctors tell us the best way to help Ana is a kidney transplant. So we are looking for a donor, someone with Type O blood, who is willing to donate the kidney that Ana needs to live. I am asking you to take the time to read this short letter.

When your kidneys fail your body is unable to clean your blood. Left untreated death results. People can use dialysis to clean their blood but not for a regular lifetime. Kidney transplants from a live donor allow people to live far longer. Doctors tell us for Ana a kidney transplant means nearly twenty more years of life with the kids and me.

It is hard for us to make this appeal but unless we ask - the one person who wants to donate a kidney to Ana will not know and can’t say yes. So we have to ask. The first thing we did was check our family but none of us are a “match” and Ana can’t receive a kidney from us.

To make things harder Ana is “sensitized.” One out of every 3 people who need a kidney transplant is sensitized. This makes it much harder to find a donor that matches and can donate to Ana. Six people have been tested to be a donor so far but no match. We are transferring Ana to John Hopkins which has a paired donor program for sensitized people. At this point the Center we were at has stopped testing for donors.

Hopkins paired donor program is where people have agreed to “swap” kidneys. Four of the people tested for Ana have agreed to give their kidney to someone else in the paired donor program if someone in the paired donor program can also give a kidney to Ana. This improves the chances of finding a kidney for Ana that Ana needs to live, If there were a few more people who volunteer to be tested and donate for Ana, Ana would have a much better chance to receive a kidney. The next person tested could be that perfect match and can save Ana or could join those special people who are in Ana’s paired donor pool. Being in the donor pool means you could not only save Ana, you could also save someone else like Ana.

Please think about being the one brave generous person who can match to Ana and give her the gift of life or, through the paired donor program, joining those four special people who want to save Ana and while doing that can also save someone else just like Ana. Only people in very good health, between the age of 21 and 60, who do not have hypertension and whose weight is normal can be a donor. Please email me at rescue_ana@comcast.net or call me at 703-851-2420 to find out about being a donor. Or visit Ana’s website at http://www.rescueana.com/ for more information.

Please send this email letter to everyone in your email address book and ask them to send it to their friends. The more people that know about Ana the more likely it is that someone will give Ana the biggest gift she will ever receive. If enough people find out, one special person will help. If you print the letter please share it by posting in on your bulletin board at work, in your business, or give it to your friends. Please help us find that special person.

This is not the type of letter I thought I would ever write but I have written it and I am sending it. I understand if you read this letter and say "this is not for me." And that is OK. It is not for you. But if you believe in miracles, please say a prayer for Ana. Please think about being a donor. And please help us spread the word. God Bless. Glenn

26 March: Day 23 Post-Op

Well, it seems that I have had nothing but problems with my ankle! I have had a lot of pain the past 4 days or so, and I am worried that something is worng with the repair. I called the Dr. and they want me to walk in tomorrow and be seen. Keep your fingers crossed! I will keep you posted.

Father Ron Camarda...my inspiration

I want to take a moment and share my thoughts on someone very special to me. His name is Father Ron Camarda, and because of him I have had the most amazing year! One year ago on 2 March 2007, I had knee surgery and found myself with way too much time on my hands to think while I was recovering. I began to think about the (2) Marines I had escorted in 2004 that were killed in Fallujah. I wondered how their families were doing and really wanted to have some closure. I needed to know that they were ok. I sat at home by myself recovering and decided to immerse myself in their memory. I began to look them up on the internet and read about them again. I tried to find ways to contact their families. Before I knew it I had spent several hours, days, on the computer reading about them. I felt like I knew them. Their names are SSgt David G. Ries KIA 8 Nov 2004 and Cpl Shane E. Kielion KIA 15 Nov 2004.
I had tried to mail some things to Amanda, David's wife, after his death, but they were returned address unknown. I sent a card and letter for the one year anniversary of his death, but it was also returned. I had signed an internet guest book for David and put my email address on it. I had asked Amanda to give me her address because I wanted to send her some things. I didn't know it, but in my search for her-she had already written me an email in January-2 months prior. God was on my side. I responded to Amanda and began to talk with her. 1 1/2 weeks later, I was on a plane to go visit her and the kids, Camryn and Bailey. I was so excited to actually spend time with them-especially under different circumstances. They were so welcoming and wonderful! I had a wonderful time and didn't want to leave. I was happy that they were doing so well.
As I mentioned before, I was also searching for a way to reach April, Shane's wife. Shane's homecoming was not as I had wanted it, but was out of my control. The way that his reunion went with his family haunted me for years. I felt so terrible and really wanted the chance to explain what happened from my perspective and to let them know that I was truly sorry. In reading about Shane, I found an article that he was mentioned in written about Father Ron Camarda, a Navy Chaplain assigned to Bravo Surgical Company in Fallujah in 2004. The article is entitled, "The Best Christmas Ever" and it talked about Shane and how Father Ron was there when he died. I was so taken back and wanted to know more. The article was so touching and awe inspiring. I started searching for Father Ron and found that he had signed an online memorial guest book for Shane. Below his entry there was a link that said, "Contact Me". I clicked it and sent Father Ron an email thanking him and longing to hear more. I explained to him that I was Shane's escort and was very touched by his writing. He said he was writing a book but that it wasn't finished. He sent it to me to read. I could not stop reading albeit difficult reading on the computer. Nevertheless it was 200+ pages of raw emotion and deep love for God in the midst of what some would call hell on earth. Despite all of the death and destruction that Father Ron witnessed during his time in Iraq, he was still able to say "God is good...all the time". I was softened by his outlook and moved beyond words. I began emailing him about my absence from the church and about my previous desires to become a Religious.
I felt a connection with Father Ron though never having met him or spoken with him. His outlook and submission to the loving Will of God made me feel like I could let go of the anger I had towards God for the war and the lives lost. If he could remain faithful and courageous in his mission, then surely I could let go. So, after emailing Father Ron with thanks-I decided at 11:30 on Sunday 8 April 2007 that I would go back to church...it was Easter. I looked up the Catholic church that I had gone to once when I first moved to Virginia and saw they had a 1230 Mass. I got ready and out the door I went. I got to the church 45 minutes before the Mass...plenty of time to reaquaint myself with my God. That is excatly where I was supposed to be at that moment.
If it hadn't been for Father Ron, I don't think I would have had the courage to return...atleast not then. God put him into my life to bring me back to Him. God sent me to bring David and Shane home to soften my heart. It is through them that I found Father Ron, and through Father Ron that I found peace. I am so thankful. God be praised. To Him be Glory forever and ever!
Thank you David, Shane, Amanda, Camryn, Bailey, April, Shane JR, and Father Ron! I love you all with all that I am.

In loving service,
Christie

PS: You can buy Father Ron's book "Tear in the Desert" at www.lulu.com. Enter CAMARDA in the search block and you will see it. Do yourself a favor and read it...you won't regret it!

Easter Wishes

I would like to wish everyone a wonderfully grace filled Holy Week! I wish you peace and joy as we celebrate this Glorious Mystery of our Lord's Resurrection! This is a very special time for me, as Easter is my anniversary or homecoming back to the church. One year ago I came back to the church after being gone for almost 7 years. I don't know how I survived during those 7 years. I am no longer in darkness. God is so good!

Peace...

19 March: Day 16 Post-Op

Well, I got my stitches out yesterday and got a good report from the Doc. I was pleasantly surprised when they told me I was going into a walking cast! Yeah!! I don't know how much longer I could have gone non weight bearing! I was dying after 2 weeks! Anyway-so I will be in my pretty blue cast for 4 weeks. I will go back on 18 April and then be put into a fracture boot (one of those plastic casts that you can take off). I will keep you posted. I have added a couple more pics to the ankle surgery album...check them out!

Peace-

13 March:Day 10 Post-Op

Well, my little trip to Mary Washingon Hospital ER on Tuesday night proved to be a mistake. They did a terrible job putting a new splint on. They didn't give me adequate protection and support, nor did they have my foot in the correct position. The night I got home was the worst night as far as my pain. I had not had that much pain since the surgery! I was wondering what the problem was and became nervous that they had done something very wrong. Well, there were big creases in the splint that were pushing right into the incision. The creases hardened into the splint.
Today I couldn't take it anymore after spending the last 2 days in severe pain so I went to see my friends at the Physical Therapy Dept on Quantico. They put a new cast on so I could make it until Tuesday when I go back to Bethesda to get my stitches out. What a day! I saved the splint that Mary Wash did so I can take it back to the ER and complain! UGH!! Pics added!

11 March: Day 8 Post-Op

Well, it has been 8 days since my ankle surgery, and I have been having some issues the past 4 days-swelling, numbness, toe discoloration, and a low grade fever. As a result of my not being able to drive, I was not able to get a ride to Bethesda to see the Ortho folks. Quantico would not see me and neither would Ft. Belvoir so Mary Washington ER was my only option. So, I have spent the last 9 hours in the ER. Lovely!! They did an x-ray to make sure there wasn't any fluid in the joint or leg and an ultra soind to check for blood clots. Everything came back ok...so that's good. Not sure what has been causing these issues, but hopefully they will go away. They took off the cast and put a new one on. Enjoy the pics!! Stitches come out on 18 March. See you then!